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Comparison of the manuscript of The Story of Mary MacLane with the published version reveals innumerable changes to MacLane's original text: insertion of commas between her trademark run-together adjectives; omission of dashes separating parenthetic remarks from the running text; insertion or deletion of paragraph indents; and the cutting of passages judged to be repetitious, too controversial, or in bad taste. The Stone editor's apparent aim was to render the book's style more conventional (thus more acceptable to both critics and readers of the day), but the result was an uncomfortable compromise drained of much of the original's personality and wry humor. Especially unfortunate were the cutting of the self-deprecating entry of February 19 and the smoothing of many dash-enclosed off-hand remarks into the running text (which muddled the intended nuances completely). All editorial alterations have been removed in the online text. The text of The Story given is that of the manuscript, with the occasional misspelling or slip corrected and punctuation modified in places for clarity. The Story appears in its original, unexpurgated form. A major alteration was that made to the title. MacLane's original title stands at the head of the typescript: I Await the Devil's Coming. Her publishers, however, found it unpalatable, and supplied the inoffensive published title. MacLane strongly objected to their change (letter of 24 April 1902, Newberry collection), but the book had already been typeset and the title could not be changed. A related dedication that appears in the manuscript also was cut:
To The Devil
Butte, Montana. THE STORY OF MARY MACLANE Jan. 13 - Marie Bashkirtseff - Russian painter and diarist; lived 1860-1884. Died of tuberculosis in Paris. Bashkirtseff's posthumously-published diary was well-known in its day for the writer's unabashed egotism. Jan. 18 - a MacLane liver of admirable perfectness. - the three last words were cut. Jan. 18 - My calm beautiful stomach silently sings - The concluding phrase was cut: "the while it hugs within itself the chyme that was my lunch." Jan. 18 - My very intestine even basks - The entire paragraph was cut. Jan. 21 - God is less than nothing to me. - This sentence was cut. Jan. 22 - there is the poetry of James Whitcomb Riley - Riley's name was deleted and the phrase was rendered simply as "there is poetry." Jan. 23 - the melancholy Jacques - presumably Jean Jacques Rousseau. Jan. 24 - Olive Schreiner - South African novelist, feminist, social activist, author of The Story of an African Farm and Woman and Labour; lived 1855-1920. Jan. 24 - Ninon de Lenclos - French courtesan and wit; lived 1620-1705. Jan. 29 - Howells - William Dean Howells, American author and educator; lived 1837-1920. Jan. 29 - A writer who charms me is Maria Louise Pool. - American author; lived 1841-1898. (MacLane was unaware that Pool had died a few years before.) The entire paragraph was cut. Herbert S. Stone & Co., publishers of The Story, had also been one of Pool's publishers, and for some reason they might have found this passage embarassing. Jan. 29 - Eugene Field - American poet and journalist; lived 1850-1895. Feb. 3 - "box rustlers" - prostitutes who worked the curtained upper boxes of theatres. Feb. 3 - "beer -jerkers" - bartenders who served up draft beer. Feb. 3 - "biscuit-shooters" - cooks or waitresses. Feb. 7 - when I look at them seeingly - "Seeingly" was cut. Feb. 13 - one of my many peculations - "Peculations" was changed to (or misread as) "peculiarities." Feb. 17 - And in the soft black night - The entire paragraph was cut. Feb. 19 - Am I not intolerably conceited? - This day's entry was deleted entirely. Feb. 20 - my pain of wanting - This phrase was cut. Mar. 2 - Charles Kingsley's - The text MacLane gives in the MS (apparently from memory) of Kingsley's "O Mary, Go and Call The Cattle Home," which Stone uncritically prints, is inaccurate. The punctuation is rarely correct, and the dialect is rendered in straight English. The errors have been corrected in the online text. Mar. 8 - Archibald C[lavering] Gunter - American author; lived 1847-1907. Mar. 8 - Albert Ross - pseud. Linn Boyd Porter, American author; lived 1851-1916. Mar. 8 - From good Catholics - The entire sentence was cut. Mar. 8 - From all sweet girls - The entire sentence was cut. Mar. 9 - I can only feel and know the thing as it analyzes itself before my eyes. The MS and the Stone edition both read "and" for the "as" shown above. But as the former makes little sense and is rhythmically awkward, and the latter completes the image and is rhythmically better, "as" is a preferable reading. Mar. 15 - Charlotte Corday - French patriot, assassinated revolutionary leader Marat while he bathed; born 1768, executed 1793. Mar. 16 - [My soul] is like a young woman. - This sentence was cut. Mar. 19 - acts as a narcotic - The manuscript reads "neurotic." An interesting slip. Mar. 22 - Dr Johnson - Samuel Johnson. Mar. 22 - J[ohn] T[ownsend] Trowbridge - American author and editor; lived 1827-1916. Mar. 22 - Damn everything, beginning with that fool-God that you have set up for yourself and ending with the Devil. - This sentence was cut to "Damn everything!" Mar. 22 - using a trite, expressive phrase - This phrase was cut. Mar. 23 - a despoiled animal - This phrase was cut. Apr. 4 - I have asked for bread ... and I have been given a stone - see the note for Oct. 28. Oct. 28 - Those three whom I, on three dreary days, asked for bread - MacLane refers to the Sermon on the Mount: "What man of you, if his son asks him for bread, will give him a stone?" (Matthew 7:9). Earlier, the Devil had dared Christ to demonstrate his powers by transforming stones into loaves of bread (Matthew 4:3).
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